Scandal sheet

Tom Schaller has argued convincingly that, contra the DLC orthodoxy, Democrats should turn their backs on the God 'n' gun-lovin' South and build on their bi-coastal strongholds by fighting for the Midwest and Southwest.

Fine.  But isn't turning over your Teen Democrats organization to members of a Satanic torture cult going a bit too far?

There's so many jumping off points for commentary in this little scandal.  It's an embarrassment of riches for a quick-witted pundit.  Sadly, I'm not so quick-witted.  I just read the article over and over, slack-jawed.

It did prompt me to Google The Church of Satan.  Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing!  They have a Creed; they have ethics (which, according to the above linked-to news story, forbid sex abuse and law-breaking.  What?  Is Mark 3:26 about to be fulfilled?  This could be the biggest religious story since the Resurrection, and nobody's covering it!  Besides that, Why be a Satanist if you can't be evil?); a Prophet/Lawgiver/Messiah/Enlightenment leader figure, and, naturally, since the death of the revered leader, a struggle both for succession and to define orthodoxy.

The pictures and names are amazingly campy.  Surely there's gotta be a little irony in all this, a little "wink, wink, nudge, nudge, Heh, we're Satanists, dude!" lack of seriousness in all this, right?  Maybe not.  I mean, people take Oprah seriously.  I'm forever being dumbfounded at what people take seriously.

Brother John, who emailed me the link to the Democratic-Satanic scandal in Durham, wants to know if this trumps our little Dentist Scandal in Salisbury.  It's a matter of opinion.  Our scandal does involve actual murder, and the "If I don't take an Oxycontin right now I'm going to scrape all the skin off me with my fingernails!" look in the dead eyes of all three suspects is certainly more haunting than Little Miss Devil's Food Cake's multiple chins.

The Dentist Scandal has it all: sex, drugs, violence, and money.  It's as addictive as hydrocodone.  The Democratic-Satanic Scandal is creepy, frightening and weird.  Fascinating, but in a totally different way.