Whether you're for or against tasing the teenager who ran on the field at the Phillies game the other night, you're probably looking at the situation all wrong. All of you assume that fans shouldn't be on the field; the only question is, What's the appropriate remedy.
Dude, you're so wrong. Baseball should be more like cycling. Get the fans on the field. The more the merrier. Just imagine, Albert Pujols is trying to turn a 3-6-3 double play while a drunk wearing a mankini
and waving a Dominican flag is screaming encouragement in his face the whole time. Awesome.
MLB could hire Lance Armstrong to run clinics on how to concentrate while surrounded by guys with hairy backs and bad cases of the beer sweats. Lance will need a new job in a couple of years. And Lance would bring the incalculable numbers of U.S. cycling fans to MLB--a ratings bonanza if there ever was one.
If the best seats at Yankee Stadium go for $2,600 a pop, then for $3,000 you ought to be able to go anywhere on the ball field you'd like, provided you don't encroach on a two-foot diameter buffer around the athletes. For $55,000, you get to park your pop-up camper in the outfield.
I'd watch. And so would you.
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