Traveling companion
I was in a gloomy mood. I'd just said goodbye at the train station to some new and lovely friends. But the train station was in Glasgow, a few thousand miles away from home. No family was there to greet me.
At the time it'd seen like such a good idea: round off the pilgrimage to Iona with a weekend of sightseeing. And save some money in a hostel! But I was unenthusiastic about bunking with a bunch of strangers. What if my roommates were psychos? Or more probable: what if I awoke the next morning to find my shoes filled with a stranger's vomit?
I needed a travel companion. And I found one in a Border's on Buchanan Street, Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island. How clever to stick a British Isles travelogue in a bin close to the door through which many foreign tourists were sure to pass? I was a sucker. Having howled my way through The Mother Tongue and A Walk in the WoodsI grabbed it immediately, a precious gift of levity for my homesick heart. And so, as President Bush made his valedictory tour of Great Britain, I on the same weekend made my maiden voyage through the streets of Glasgow, and, accompanied by Bryson, toured the streets of Dover, Oxford, and Edinburgh as well.
Bryson is an American who's lived, married and raised a family in Great Britain. Before he and his family relocated to the States for a time, he decided to tour his adopted home and write about it. He begins with not so fond memories of his arrival in the land, a cold, rainy night spent outdoors, and then some uncomfortable time in a B&B run by a Nurse Ratchet figure allegedly named Mrs. Smegma. Misery loves company. Thanks to Bryson's hilarious writing, I woke up in my hostel room in a much better mood. Plus there was no vomit in my shoes. Just the peaceful sound of snoring Aussies.
Bryson is good at making the minutiae of life fascinating and funny. So he does with British place names and people names. It's hard to decide which is funnier, Bryson's made-up locales, or some actual town names he reports. It reminded me of a game our choir director played with us once. She'd read three country music song titles, and we had to decide which one was fake. Hint: If the Phone Don't Ring Baby, It's Me is a real song.
Tea time, says Bryson, has made the British some of the kindest people in the world, apologetic to a fault, capable of taking extraordinary delight in simple pleasures. Brits, says Bryson, suffer from an inferiority complex, but why should they? They won the war they needed to win, dismantled their empire (peacefully, for the most part), and built in its place a social welfare system that's the envy of the world. Their train system is efficient, comfortable and a real deal for the taxpayer. Plus there's all this old stuff, everywhere!
But not as much as there used to be. Bryson's description of any given town includes its lovely architecture and a seething critique of those modern glass and concrete monstrosities that have elbowed lovely Victorian, Georgian and older styles out of the way. It became a game with me. Which new adjective would Bryson hurl at the horrible post-war construction he took in on his road trip? Criminal? Obnoxious? Hideous? After reading Notes from a Small Island, one could be forgiven for concluding that post-war urban planners did more damage to Britain's architecture than the Luftwaffe.
Bryson can be wickedly funny in his descriptions of others, and himself. Cheap but elegant might summarize his preferred accommodations. I have close relatives who've hiked the entire Appalachian Trail, and they were greatly disappointed with Bryson's A Walk in the Woods because he only made it as far as Tennessee. But after reading account after account of Bryson storming out of a B&B at the first sight of a little mildew in the sink, it's a real wonder he attempted such a feat in the first place!
Glasgow was one of the last stops on Bryson's trip, and his take was essentially the same as mine:
It has all this new-found prosperity and polish, but right at the very edge of things there is always this sense of grit and menace, which I find oddly exhilarating. You can wander through the streets on a Friday night, as I did now, and never know when you turn a corner whether you are going to bump into a group of tony revelers in dinner jackets or a passel of idle young yobboes who might decide to fall on you and carve their initials in your forehead for purposes of passing amusement. Gives the place a certain tang.




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