Avdat

Change we can believe in, BSG edition

Should the Colonials have backed the Zarek coup?

Frak yeah!

Because Tom Zarek would have known better than to think that this planet is habitable.

You Tube Friday: baiting Pat Buchanan edition

If you choose me to be your token white friend, what I can bring to this relationship is extensive experience in New Balance running shoes. Plus, I will be your Dungeon Master. (HT)

The only constant is change

The East Carolina Pirates have updated their mascot for the 21st century.

Heh.

Perspective

Just say the name Neil the Ethical Werewolf and my cerebral cortex instantly goes into "Golden Age of Blogging Nostalgia" spasms (that would be 2003-4, when we all hated America).  He's got something else going now, a War or Car? blog that's just post after post detailing what we could have bought ourselves for the cost of the Iraq War.  It's hysterical in that "I have to laugh or else I'll cry" sort of way.

So what could your tax dollar have gotten you?  Why there's something here for everyone:

• For Jennifer:    You could buy every Iraqi woman the clothes the GOP bought Sarah Palin.
• For Lee:  You could buy each hen in California a quarter acre plot.
• For Gershon:  Give each king of Israel the entire value of the Israeli stock market.
• For Jonathan:  And everyone else in the Carolinas and Georgia, a Hawaii vacation!  OR, enough communion wafers to make the Body of Christ stretch from here to Neptune.
• For Elliott:  And every other Canadian, your own minor league hockey team.
• For Camassia:  Gift Subscriptions in your name to every US newspaper ever printed for Sarah Palin.
• And pour moi?  You could make me and every Virginian rich enough to be taxed more by Barack Obama!

If you care to, consider this a meme.

All the really great messiahs were 5'6"

My best exegetical insight ever came in poring over 1 Samuel 16.  Noticing a certain lack of symmetry between 16:7 and 16:12, I concluded that David must have been short of stature because in the narrator's otherwise glowing report about his good looks, he failed to mention his height.  Everyone laughed (of course!  they always laugh at us!), but Brueggemann noted that Fred Craddock once argued that Jesus was certainly short because, contrary to the song, Zaccheus had to climb that sycamore tree because the Lord he wanted to see, and not he, was a wee little man.

And now we have proof!  An ancient scroll, hidden in earthenware jugs in caves by the Dead Sea rolled up in a tuna can buried outside of Cairo, The Lost Gospel of Zaccheus, reveals all! 

I wouldn't be surprised if Randy Newman himself tried to destroy the evidence by burying the truth in the desert sands.  But his failure is now complete!

HT:  Brandon.

The audacity of careful pruning

Generate a Barack Obama Quote!

"I think it's time we had a national conversation about tackiness. We need to get past all the muffin tops and recognize that we are our own best hope for overcoming butchered forsythias. We need strawberry rhubarb pies, not Cowboy fans. Strawberry rhubarb pies are our simplicity. And we need to have change in tackiness."
Generate your Barack Obama quote at Buttafly.com

Change we can believe in:  forsythias allowed to attain to their God-given form of burning bushes not consumed; rather than light bulbs.  HT:  Brandon, who also reminds us that Chaucer's Parson wouldn't have liked muffin tops, either.

Loathesome

A list of The 50 Most Loathsome Americans that's side-splittingly funny and spares no one, including you.  Yes, you.  You're number 16.